Damn... No evidence?? You're in the clear. Though I gotta say, the pacemaker explosion is almost impossible by EMI but if its old then it could happen.
Put the circuit in a fire for atleast and hour and you've practically destroyed all evidence..
Hello Sepp, I am writing to you from a funeral home. Last night I did something irreversible, and I just need get it to confess it ASAP. I have (used to) this grandma whose bedroom is downstairs, right under mine. She often had sleeping problems, like most folks her age. The problem for me is (or was) that almost every night when she got to around 1:30 AM still struggling to fall sleep she would turn her radio on. Sigh... And even though she has quite good hearing, she would always turn the volume way too high. She said the noise helped her sleep, which I think is bullshit. If anything, it palliates the boredom of laying in a bed with no chance of sleeping, thereby giving the sensation that you spend less time in that state. It definitely didn't help me sleep; yes, the volume was high enough I could understand everything said on those radio shows. So I looked across my room and saw those components that I took from that microwave the other day. I figured the intense microwave radiation would probably interfere with the radio: even though it's a significantly different wavelength, the power is many orders of magnitude higher, so it must mess with the signal caught by the antenna, rendering it useless; and maybe, just maybe, even fry its circuitry. And so I wired up the magnetron, transformer, capacitor and diode, went to the kitchen bin, grabbed a can and cut a hole on it to get a makeshift waveguide. I pointed the output to the floor and turned the thing on hoping for the best. I immediately heard the radio cutting out. I giggled "hahah, victory!". I made sure to keep it on for a couple of minutes, hopefully prompting my grandma to just give up and unplug the radio and go back to bed without fucking bothering me with her loud BS radio show. But then it happened...
I heard a loud bang, followed by the most nightmarish screams a 90 year old woman could produce. I had forgotten she had a pacemaker. The microwaves had induced just enough current on its wiring to cause a short circuit making the lithium cell explode. A hole was blown open in her chest, the lithium then reacted explosively with her blood, causing secondary explosions. Droplets of burning lithium were thrown out in all directions, rapidly setting her bedroom on fire. The screams quickly subsided. It is clear she didn't live for long. The blood loss must have been monumental. I can't describe my mental state at that moment, so I leave for you to imagine. Just bear in mind I am not a psychopath. I knew I had to do something but honestly at that moment all I needed was to completely get rid of the evidence. I put the whole circuit in a black bag and hid it. The messy day tomorrow would be I would have to dispose of it without no one knowing. This was ALL caused by a manufacturing defect on her pacemaker, and I had NOTHING to do with. No way to prove I anything, microwaves don't leave any footprint, I'm safe, that's all. As I was done hiding the bag in my bedroom, I saw an orange light through my window. It was the flames raging out of her window below. I called emergency services and acted stupid throughout all of this, and I still will.
No one should EVER know this.
One positive thing about being a guy, I can piss in a bottle any time I want, no toilet required. And I do just that, I actually had like 15 piss bottles stored before I tossed them away, some were very old and very dark..... some turned murky for some reason, the stench is beyond comprehension- like surstromming levels of disgusting.
Women can't do that. They have to sit to pee so they have to go into the deep dark creepy fucking woods to take a piss, can't squirt in a bottle properly.
